Warmth
by Took-Baggins
Summary: We spend so much of our lives looking at what others have that we often fail to see what we have ourselves. TumnusLucy
1. Chapter 1

A/N All right, I've finally gotten around to writing something for Tumnus and Lucy! This is a multi-chapter fic, so keep a look out!

Hope this is a good start, I like to start off with something actually happening, rather than spend an entire chapter setting the scene, so to speak.

Disclaimer: You know, I'm sure all of us would like to own Tumnus and Lucy and all the rest of Narnia. Well, tough, we don't. Still, it's nice to dream, isn't it?

Enjoy!

x x x

Susan had acquired a new suitor. As Lucy saw it, they were perfect. The way they'd glance at one another, like they were sharing some sort of wonderful secret...it was driving her crazy. There was a bitter tone to her voice whenever she spoke of them.

"She has been giggling like a school girl all week. You'd think she were actually in love with him, the way she acts."

"Isn't she?" Tumnus asked, glancing up from adding cream to his tea. The pair spent as much time as possible together and Lucy, having become so close to the faun, often confided to him those small instances when her siblings would irritate or upset her. He had a fantastic ability to calm her down. The young queen pursed her lips and glanced around conspiratorially, apparently checking that her sister was not present.

"It is an infatuation. I believe that love only comes to us once, she acts this way with every suitor."

"Lucy, she does seem genuinely happy."

"That's what bothers me about it..." sipping at her cup, she saw Tumnus was looking at her knowingly from over the rim of his own.

"Dear Lucy, you need to be patient." he was right, of course, but Lucy could not help frowning into her tea, thinking that she had been patient enough. She was eighteen now, well past the age Susan was when she had begun receiving the sort of attention Lucy wanted. Susan always managed to get these things so easily, but they seemed so far from her reach. Eventually she only sighed, smiling at her closest friend.

"How is it, Mr. Tumnus, that you always seem to know what I'm thinking? Half the time I'm not even sure myself!"

"Years of friendship and much quiet observation." He said matter-of-factly. Lucy tilted her head, setting her tea aside to lean forward over the table.

"You've been watching me?"

"Well...sometimes you're busy when I come to see you..." a blush of crimson brushed Tumnus' cheek as Lucy smiled at him, eager to know what he thought. "When someone says something you don't care for, you scrunch your nose a little, almost as if you've got an itch. I've become quite familiar with the faces you make, Lucy."

"Do I really scrunch my nose?" Lucy asked, trying to look down at it and becoming cross-eyed in the attempt. Ever polite, Tumnus held in a chuckle and grinned.

"Just a bit. I don't think anyone would notice if they weren't looking directly at your nose."

"So you were looking at my nose?"

"Not specifically."

"If it was 'not specifically' my nose, than what were you looking at, dear Mr. Tumnus?" he looked away from her.

"I know why seeing your sister bothers you, Lucy." Tumnus said quietly, but Lucy didn't seem to notice the change of subject.

"Oh?"

"Yes, but, dear Lucy, I don't think you realize there is someone who truly does love you. He has been waiting to say it a terribly long time."

"...Mr. Tumnus?" Lucy's eyes widened as she stared at him. Without looking at her the faun began to gather his belongings, thinking it had been rash of him to nearly come out and tell her, and now he felt he had overstepped his bounds. Even if Lucy was his dearest friend, she was still a queen. To stop him from leaving, Lucy took hold of his arm, tilting her head to look him in the face. "Is it true? Do you know who this is?"

"Yes, I do."

"Will you tell me?" hesitantly he looked at her, allowing their eyes to meet briefly. In the moment before he answered, it seemed to Lucy that he seemed sad somehow, hopeless even. The faun sighed and pulled away her.

"I'm sorry, but I can't. Good night, Lucy."

He left without another word.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N Let me start by saying how sorry I am that I've taken so long on this. You see, I had it done some time ago, but then I rewrote it several times and it's ended up going in an entirely different direction. I've decided that, even though I love poor Tumnus being hopelessly in love and struggling to say it, I'm going to go with exposing it early on and seeing how they deal with it.

Hope nobody minds. This may not flow too well with the previous chapter, but it's better than no update, isn't it? Oh, and since a lot of you thought the first chapter was too short, I've tried to do better with this one (it's longer by about 450 or so words).

Enjoy it everyone!

x x x

In spite of his hasty exit the evening before, Tumnus appeared once again a few days later, just as he always did. Before long he and Lucy were seated together in one of the gardens of Cair Paravel, sheltered from the warmth of the day beneath a tree. They were sitting as they always had, close side by side, Lucy's head resting on his shoulder as they spoke quietly together. As always, she remained completely unaware of the fluttering heart so near to her, as well as the faint blush that had crept across his features. She shifted slightly, lifting a hand to pick idly at the scarf he was wearing.

"Surely, Mr. Tumnus, you're not planning to bundle up on such a lovely day?" Lucy frowned.

"Winter really isn't very far off, Lucy, it's never too early to prepare."

"But aren't you warm?" she pulled the scarf from his shoulders, draping it around her own and burying her face in the fabric. She had always loved his scarves, they were so well worn the material was softer than anything, and they had a strange sort of smell to them. It was like tea, and something else that she could never quite place. She breathed it in happily, unaware that Tumnus was smiling at her.

"I've never been warmer, Lucy."

"Mmm...you say the oddest things sometimes."

"Do I?" Lucy didn't say anything for a moment, but began to fidget with the scarf. Tumnus watched her, his smile fading when he saw her begin to wriggle.

"Are you all right?"

"That's what I've been meaning to ask you." Lucy sighed, pulling the scarf away from her face to give him a reproachful look before lowering her gaze. "I saw the other night, but in my excitement about...what you told me..." here she blushed a little. "I'm afraid I forgot. Still, I should think if you had a problem you would tell me..." Tumnus frowned worriedly. There was no way to tell her that _she_ was his problem. At least, no way that he could see.

"I don't have a problem, Lucy."

"Yes you do, I know you do!"

"Lucy, it's nothing that you need to bother yourself with."

"But I can't bear the thought of you being unhappy..." she still wouldn't look at him. After a moment of silence, Tumnus lifted her chin gently so that she would look at him.

"Dear Lucy...you can't save everyone from their problems."

"Yes I can."

"Lucy..."

"Are you going to tell me?" Lucy sighed, knowing he would have told her that, even as a queen, she couldn't fix everything for everyone. Still, Tumnus stared at her, considering it. It would only be a matter of time before he had to tell her. Even he wasn't naive enough to think he could keep something like this hidden forever. He was extremely worried, mostly about how she would react. More than anything though, he was frightened. Frightened that this, if she were unhappy, could be the end of them. Frightened to be cast aside by his beloved Lucy, as he had seen happen with so many of Susan's suitors.

Even so, it was tearing at him. Tearing at him as it had done for years, ever since it had occurred to him that she wasn't a little girl anymore, that she had grown in intellect and beauty much too quickly for his liking. When had she ceased to be his Lucy and become the Lucy he wanted, wanted more than anything he had ever imagined wanting? He had often berated himself for these feelings, knowing very well that they were both improper and useless. It would never work..

It didn't seem right to him somehow. She was a queen, and he was only a-

"Silly faun." Tumnus started when he felt Lucy tug at his beard. He hadn't realized that he had drifted into thought without answering her. Leaning once more upon his shoulder, she was watching him amusedly, a faint smile playing along her lips. Tumnus remained silent until she poked at him again. "Have you forgotten me?"

"I'm sorry, Lucy." He said, pushing her away gently. A nervous sigh escaped his lips as he took her hands in his own. There was nothing for it, it would have to be said sooner or later.

"I admit, recently I have been somewhat...troubled..."

"Oh, do tell me, please, Tumnus!"

"Dearest Lucy..." hesitantly he began, feeling her hands tighten where they lay in his own, "I'm afraid...it's you..." he felt rather than saw the way that she jerked, pulling away from him. For a moment he didn't realize why she suddenly looked so hurt, but then he realized what he had said.

"Did...did I do something wrong?" she asked, her voice breaking as tears began to well in her eyes. Tumnus shook his head frantically, going after her as she rose and made to go indoors.

"No! No, that's not I meant at all! Please, let me finish..." Lucy paused at the door, turning to glance at him tearfully. Unable to help himself, Tumnus began to stutter a little in his panic. "It...it'ss just...you see...i-it's ...b-being with you, I don't..." he stopped, not knowing what to say. Now that it came to it, with Lucy upset and himself already flustered, it seemed that anything to do with what he needed to say had flown out of his head. Unfortunately Lucy didn't know this. She stared at him a moment more, her tears beginning to fall freely.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Tumnus." it came out as barely a whisper and suddenly she was gone. Tumnus shook himself, everything he had wanted to say suddenly coming back to him as he followed her indoors.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N I hope you guys are glad to see this because i'm supposed to be studying for a couple finals right now, but no, I care more for my readers than my grades, so here I am!

I was going to have a little bit with the handkerchief (even though I know it's been done) but then I realized...if she's wearing his scarf, where on earth would he be pulling it out from? of course, I don't think I actually needed to explain that, did I? Well, now you know.

I'm sorry if I didn't reply to reviews for the last chapter, I don't remember if I did or not. Either way, though, I'm glad to get them and I hope there'll be a few more. I always want to know what people think of my writing!

So enjoy, everybody! And be sure to click that pretty blue button at the bottom and say hello to me!

x x x

Lucy fled to her bedroom much too quickly for him to catch up with her (he sometimes had the problem of his hooves sliding on the marble). Not long after, Peter had gone in to her, leaving Tumnus standing alone in the hall. The faun shifted his weight nervously from hoof to hoof, wringing his hands as he listened to the hushed voices on the other side of the door.

"You didn't let him finish, did you?" he heard Peter say. Lucy's reply was inaudible. He leaned forward a little, noticing that the door had been left open a crack. He felt a little intrusive as he glanced through it. Seeing that nothing was visible he drew back, chiding himself. Aftermaking Lucy so upset he didn't need to be peeking into her bedroom. Listening once more, he noticed that Peter's voice had begun to sound a little confused.

"That's nonsense, Lu, why on earth would he be angry with you?"

"He wouldn't tell me! He looked so upset, and when he said I was the problem..." her voice rose tearfully and Tumnus felt a painful twinge of guilt. "Surely I must have done something!"

"Lucy, we both know he would never keep something like that from you. You're his dearest friend! He loves you too much to keep secrets." Peter's voice was gentle, but Lucy remained quiet. Knowing he didn't need to hear the rest of the conversation, Tumnus backed away to lean against the wall across from her door. Peter was right, he realized, twisting his fingers through his beard thoughtfully. He couldn't keep secrets from Lucy. He felt horrible, knowing that he had hurt her somehow. Granted, she was upset because he wasn't as adept at confessions as he would like and it had been taken amiss, but he couldn't help feeling that it was still he that had hurt her, not the misunderstanding.

'_Maybe I shouldn't go in.'_ his already present frown only deepened as the thought crossed his mind. _'I've tried to tell her and it's only ended up hurting her...perhaps I shouldn't be doing this after all.'_ the doubt within that thought only made him feel worse. He wasn't at all sure how to go about fixing this. At any rate he would have to explain to Lucy what he had been trying to say.

He looked up as Peter opened the door across the hall and motioned him closer. Leaving the door open he pulled the faun close and spoke into his ear. "She's calmer now. I'm sorry she's done this, it isn't like her." Tumnus nodded. Lucy had always been a very sensible girl and not one to jump to conclusions (though I suppose everyone does it from time to time). Peter smiled, placing a hand on the faun's shoulder fondly. "You will cheer her up, won't you? No one can do it as well as you." not entirely sure whether the king meant it as a plea or a compliment, he nodded again.

"I'll do what I can, sire...Peter." he corrected himself as Peter gave an irritated, but slightly amused sort of look. With a reassuring squeeze of his shoulder, he pushed Tumnus through the open door and swung it closed behind him.

x x x

Lucy was sitting at the window. The scarf (his favorite red one) was wrapped tightly around her neck. She had pulled her hair from under it, allowing the soft wool to settle against her skin. Her hands moved restlessly beneath the folds of fabric. The beach was easily seen through her window and she had focused all of her attention on it, to avoid looking at him.

Tumnus stared at her, not wanting to move and not entirely sure that he could. He had long ago realized how beautiful she was, but still it surprised him. He often came upon her when she was unaware that he was even nearby. It was these times, when he could just watch her, every movement, every expression, that he seemed to find himself speechless. It was the same now. Her lithe form framed against the sky beyond the window, seemed to him so lovely that for a moment it seemed a great wave of _something _had welled up inside of him and he could only look at her. Though he would have been happy to stand there forever, it was not a time to be speechless.

Hesitantly, Tumnus approached the window, sitting across from her. Her eyes were red, and tears lay upon her cheeks, glistening faintly in the light of the window. Seeing Lucy cry had always been hard for Tumnus, and he felt a sort of pain inside him at the sight of her stricken face. Having nothing else to use, he took hold of one end of his scarf and gently wiped the tears from her face. He saw her glance at him and smiled.

"I'm so sorry, Lucy."

"Look at us," she said, her voicetearful. "A bit of a mess, aren't we?"

"And why shouldn't we be?"

"Because we're not supposed to be like this." Tumnus was a little startled by this statement. He didn't quite know what she meant to say by it or what sort of reaction she wanted, so he waited for her to go on. After staring out the window for a moment more she turned to look at him properly. "We're hurting each other, Mr. Tumnus."

"Lucy..."

"I know I must have hurt your feelings somehow, otherwise-"

"It's nothing you've done." he interrupted her quietly and she furrowed her brow, a little confused.

"It isn't?" she asked.

"Of course not."

"Oh, but I really should have let you have your privacy. It was rude of me to pry."

"And I suppose I should have told you long ago, it's just..." he stopped, suddenly unwilling to go on. Things seemed alright now, neither of them were crying and it looked as if they had forgiven each other. It seemed to him that it could wait, that perhaps he could find another way of saying it. Plucking up his courage, Tumnus took her face into his hands, stroking his thumb along the smooth skin of her cheekbone. She looked up into his face, her green eyes wide with surprise at the gesture.

"Did you know that...you're beautiful, Lucy Pevensie?" he felt the heat rise against his hands as she blushed and he had a sudden urge to throw his arms around her. He was afraid to do so would only scar her away, so he contented himself with what he had already done. Lucy must have been feeling something very similar, for she suddenly shifted to lean against him, one arm wound around his waist as she rested her head against his chest. The faun felt his own face grow warm and his breath caught unexpectedly in his throat when he felt her fingers curled into the fine fur of his chest.

"Am I as beautiful as Susan?" she whispered, sounding almost worried whether he would say yes. Tumnus smiled into her hair, too happy for a moment even to speak.

"Much more beautiful."


End file.
